dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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