Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize