Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
