We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
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you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
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totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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