there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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