i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
