Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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