I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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