He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
