My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
