Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
