I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
