I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
