a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And then the night went full on bisexual.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
