I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dear god my vagina.
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