watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
why do cheetos always look like penises
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
God, I missed his penis.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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