I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize