South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
