i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
porn star boner night. come get it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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