I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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