that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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