And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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