oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
