I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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