Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
