Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(971): View more from Oregon

There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.

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(630): View more from Illinois

just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.

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(716): View more from New York

I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.

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(646): View more from New York

I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think

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(775): View more from Nevada

You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass

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(818): View more from California

I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.

(310): View more from California

I look forward to it

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