I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
