miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
whose ass print is on the piano?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
