He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
