Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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