Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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