garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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