hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
