they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
