it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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