You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
