I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
