I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
