sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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