Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
