it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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