im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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