4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
