Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
