wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
