that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
