I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
