Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
