Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize