Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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