BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
