you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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