I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
