yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
