Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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