East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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