Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
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The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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