Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Operation Purity has been aborted
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
