with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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